@ScottFilmCritic: If you only see one raccoon getting a marriage proposal today, make it this one.
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@ExtraGrumpyCat: This year I'm going to put the mistletoe in my back pocket, so people I hate can kiss my ass.
@nickcreelman: Some people say they have a hamster on a wheel in their head. I have 4 squirrels fighting over an acorn.
@NurseSeymour: There are only two things in this world visible from space. One is the Great Wall of China and the other is my pile of laundry.