@jnrbtsn: If you open a door for me, I will lick you. Sometimes it's awkward.
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@sip_at_home_mom: I own workout clothes for the same reason my buddies in high school bought condoms: I like to pretend there's a chance I'll need them.
@_davidsc: Rememeber when Uruguay fans got angry at Paul Dummett for injuring Suarez & then used Google Translate to insult him