@CakeThrottle: If you own a small, anti-Kindle bookstore and it's not called Page Against the Machine, just give up.
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@LostFelicia: People that use abbreviations like ppl, wyd, hmu, and idk - what do you do with all that time you saved?
@JakeSocial: Just received an email saying: "Want to see Celine Dion live?" My first thought was that it was a ransom demand.
@CVTBaby: Him: Can you forgive me? *mental montage of me trying to figure out who this guy is* Me: Yes, but I'm really hurt so please give me time.
@briancthayer: *licks the powdered sugar off the donuts and puts them back* Boss: I kinda like these new low-cal donuts. Real moist.