@CakeThrottle: If you own a small, anti-Kindle bookstore and it's not called Page Against the Machine, just give up.
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@sixfootcandy: [family brunch] Sister: We'd love you to be our daughter's godmother. Me: No thank you. Please pass the syrup.
@Hurly_Burly: Psychologist: Let's play a word association game. I'll say a word, you say what springs to mind Rainbows Me: I hope my ex dies in a fire.
@LovestruckLayla: So I have one coworker who uses "irregardless" and another who uses "unappropriate" and now I'm over trying to conversate with these people.