@Emonalisha: If you piss me off in the grocery store I will get in line in front of you and pay for a single banana with a personal check
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@JT_IV_: If you are cornered by raccoons in the wild then place your thumb and index finger tips together- make a bandit mask. They will accept you.
@FredPollack: Had trouble sleeping today. They added a trumpeter to this morning's church service.
@Cravin4: Wife text from work on Easter. "Happy Easter" quick reply as joke "I'm going to grind on you so hard" opens text.Was group family text.truth
@brianbowman73: Coworker: Pass your random drug test? Me: With flying colors! CW: Really? Me. So many colors! CW: You're high right now aren't you?