@notbedelia: If you play Titanic backwards it's about a guy who rises from the sea, bangs a ginger and tries to throw her over the railing of a boat.
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@RobbyRob313: When I said that you'd always have a place to stay in rough times, I meant like a motel or a shelter. Anyway ... You can't stay here.
@OreoSpeedwagon_: Adopt 25 cats and you'll never be alone. Also melt cheese on things. Not the cats though. -me as a therapist
@Bandersnaaatch: A fun thing to do is sit on the couch with black buttons over your eyes while your kids watch Coraline, then wait for them to notice.
@joejwest: ME: [leaning over toilet] Hold back my hair YOU: Ok ME: [drinks from toilet like dog] YOU: You've made your point I'll wash up some glasses