@notbedelia: If you play Titanic backwards it's about a guy who rises from the sea, bangs a ginger and tries to throw her over the railing of a boat.
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@ShesARealGenius: [FIRST DATE] Him: "I love science-fiction." Me, trying to impress him: "I think the earth is flat."
@girl_a_whirl: [Interview] "Tell me your weaknesses" Me: Well, I.. *wife busts in* He's a mouth breather, leaves the toilet seat up, forgets to take out th
@Shock_Monster: If I could go back in time & change any event that would alter the course of history: I probably wouldn't have super sized that fry order.
@weinerdog4life: A good way to make friends is to crawl under the bathroom stall quickly before they can get away