@WeissBrandon: If you plug in a toaster and take it into the bathtub with you, it will get rid of your hiccups.
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@justinshanes: I was probably the first choice of the person who texted me, "Wanna go to a concert in 40 minutes?!"
@MarfSalvador: Everybody always goes on about how Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel on his back but they never mention how long his arms were
@ch000ch: [does jerk off motion for 2 hours] and that concludes the hearing impaired translation of the presidential debate. all of them. god bless