@WeissBrandon: If you plug in a toaster and take it into the bathtub with you, it will get rid of your hiccups.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@QwertyJones3: "Want to come watch the game Saturday at 8:00?" Well I'm going rollerskating at 1:00, so yeah I should be out of the hospital by then.
@SirEviscerate: How to lose 12 lbs in 7 agonizing seconds: Step 1: Make sure the wood chipper is all gassed up.
@InternetHippo: What should we call this giant advertising board? PHIL: A philboard BILL: I have a better idea
@JohnLyonTweets: I said goodbye to everyone at a party and then mistakenly walked into a closet and was too embarrassed to walk back out so I live here now.