@robfee: If you plug in a USB cord correctly on the first try, you shouldn’t have to pay taxes for a year.
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@bridger_w: Does anyone want a free microwave? Contact me. We can talk about how we both want a free microwave
@Abusitron: I spend 60%of my day worrying that I might have mustard on my face or clothing. The other 40% I am eating mustard.
@lucidchemistry: ME: Who's my little sex kitten? HER: *slowly pushes me off bed* ME: [from floor] That's right baby.
@robdelaney: If you see someone over the age of 9 wearing sweatpants, pull them aside & say "Friend, you're wearing sweatpants." They might not know.