@badbrain1367: If you pronounce the word vase like "voz" I'm gonna want to punch you in the foz
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@AskAuntieEm1: Answer your phone, "come in" just to mess with people once in a while. Count how many seconds it takes for them to respond.
@cynicanoldicus: On the off chance I'm captured by cannibals, I've got a 'Best if eaten by 1975' tattoo on my neck.
@therealeatwood: “…and silk so fine, Sire, that fools cannot even see it.” EMPEROR: So idiots can see through my clothes? That sounds completely acceptable.