@MaryKoCo: If you put dry teabags in shoes they absorb the odor. So your shoes smell good but the tea tastes so bad it's almost not worth it
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@GashleyMadison: [at restaurant] -sees baby screaming in high chair -walks over & picks baby up -walks outside & puts baby down "You're free," I whisper.
@nachosarah: hey guys maybe girls are so cold all the time because you make us shave off all our hair
@FloodyHippie: A zombie jumped out at me, in a haunted house, but he didn't scare me. He did, however, catch my elbow in his face.