@turd_firebird: If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.
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@HatfieldAnne: When you offer me cookies, act surprised when I take one. Declare loudly you’ve never seen me eat dessert before.
@SadPeruna: Get a TATTOO they said! A rock band tattoo would be the BEST they said! Creed will be popular FOREVER they said!
@TheJamieLee: Never understand when someone says, "cats are snobby." Like dogs are constantly inviting you & the kids over for burgers & a swim?
@WheelTod: "Pick a card, any card, make sure you memorize it, now put it back with the rest": me, with my wife at the Hallmark Store on Valentine's Day