@trevso_electric: If you receive a text from Liam Neeson that says "LMAO," it stands for "let's murder Albanians overseas" and he wants his daughter back.
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@JennyJohnsonHi5: Freak parents out on Facebook by posting, "Just read a health article about how a camera flash causes diabetes in kids under the age of 10."
@TheRealRHB: Feeding some weed to the turkey so it will already be baked when we kill it... Will save sooo much time !
@Marlebean: Don't make a mountain out of a molehill Do it with mashed potatoes, then play keyboard for the aliens ... I think my cough medicine expired