@trevso_electric: If you receive a text from Liam Neeson that says "LMAO," it stands for "let's murder Albanians overseas" and he wants his daughter back.
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@RxitWounds: [Brings date home] O geez did I leave all my rare, holographic Pokemon cards out on my bed again? Guess we'll just have to lay here & battle
@_davidlucas_: He goes out for a run, and doesn't even stop to sniff any crotches. Humans are weird. ~Dogs.
@trevso_electric: Between hating pork and launching themselves into enemy structures, Al Qaeda were the original Angry Birds.