@samalmightysam: If you receive an e-mail that says: ''FREE JUSTIN BIEBER CONCERT TICKETS'' Don't open it! It may contain free Justin Bieber concert tickets.
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@grimpossible: "Hey son, we really love you but we posted a picture of you on Instagram and nobody liked it which is why we're giving you up for adoption."
@Mr_Kapowski: Clown 2: Sorry man. You got outvoted by us, 42-1. We want to listen to ICP Clown 1: My VW Bug. I'm driving the carpool. It's Streisand.
@TheDairylandDon: To avoid small talk with neighbors I've taken to checking the mail in the middle of the night like some kinda raccoon with bills.
@JT_IV_: I hope the people that monitor my sleep study tonight like watching a man scratch his taint.