@oolah: If you replace phrase “Americans think” with “Americans with landlines who answer unsolicited calls think” it all makes so much more sense.
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@WittySassBasket: *sharing a box of cereal with the cat* Me: Frosted Lucky Charms Cat: They're magically deliciOH, uh MEOW
@GABBYdaAngSaya: Her: Couldn't you have picked a better record to beat? Me: *covered in 13,000 bees* There's no way this can end badly, Susan.
@krisv_723: I just got a text saying they lost my cell number & could I send it. This is the level of stupid I deal with.