@AndyShulk: If you run through an airport yelling "Marybeth I love you don't go!" then you can cut through so many lines of people who like romance.
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@jwoodham: Don't let people tell you that life after college is nothing but being poor and tired. It's 100% true, but it's more fun if it's a surprise.
@SamGrittner: The government has officially replaced all measurements of time with fruit. More news at banana.
@johnbiehl: Who him? Oh that's just jimmy, I pay him to follow me around and inter- *saxophone solo* INTERRUPT MY SENTENCES WITH SAXOPHONE SOLOS.