@NYC_Blonde: If you say "I don't feel good" and a pregnant woman says "Me neither," DO NOT respond with "Yeah, but you chose this for yourself..."
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@markleggett: If your rice accidentally gets wet, you can dry it out overnight by placing it in a bowl of cellphones.
@sofarrsogud: The running up the steps scene from Rocky, but it's a penguin, and it takes four and a half hours.
@CM2BTTHD: CPR refresher class. We're told, "If they're not breathing, there's no way you can make it worse." Woman then trips; kicks dummy's head off.