@weinerdog4life: If you say "NO YOURE UNDER ARREST" the cop legally has to get in the back of your car.
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@SatansTongue: Horton hears a who Horton hears a what Horton hears a chicka chicka slim shady Horton is listening to Eminem
@Dawn_M_: I stepped on two raccoons today, but I'm just gonna play it cool and wear them as slippers for the rest of my life.
@ThaJawn: Interviewer: What's your greatest strength? Me: I'm hyper observant Interviewer: You have mustard in your beard Me: Oh..
@causticbob: I recently got a tattoo with Chinese symbols that reads, "I don't know. I don't speak Chinese." Then when people ask me what it means...