@RefractReality: If you see a glass as half empty, pour it into a smaller glass.
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@CheetoBandito77: Eating a solid brick of Ramen is probably the easiest way to remember I need to pay the water bill.
@daemonic3: PRIEST: Do you take Florence to be your wife? THE MACHINE: I do PRIEST: Does anyone have anything- RAGE: [from the back] I'M AGAINST THIS
@HeyZeus666: Typical coworkers. They complain about management, but when it’s time to dispose of the boss’s body, they all pretend to be working.