@UNTRESOR: If you see a guy in an executioner's hood feeding a deer into a Coinstar today just let me do my thing.
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@SethMacFarlane: I wish I could explain to my cat that when I sneeze it doesn't mean the world is ending.
@electrolemon: independence day 2 has been out in the US for mere hours and it has already been upstaged by a somehow even worse independence day overseas
@Molly_Kats: YOU TWEETED 23 TIMES TODAY. RT @realDonaldTrump People ask me what I do in my free time. The answer--I don't have any.
@ericsshadow: STOP TEXTING ME. IF I EVER PLANNED ON TALKING TO YOU AGAIN I WOULDN'T HAVE BORROWED ALL THAT MONEY.