@UNTRESOR: If you see a guy in an executioner's hood feeding a deer into a Coinstar today just let me do my thing.
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@DaddyJew: 8: teach me karate [flashback to us nearly burning the house down trying to bake a cake together] Me: first things first, we need a sword
@BlindChow: *man choking* Is there a doc in the house? *Dr Pepper rises* *searches man's pockets* Hey ur no doctor! *moustache falls off* *it's Mr Pibb*
@T_Bonezzz_: A Library is a good place to get in a fight with ur girlfriend cuz its the only place u can get away with saying "Shhh" w/out being murdered
@noogscorner: Pick something up. You just applied more force on that object than the gravity of an entire planet. Earth, do you even lift?