@ilovepie84: If you see a hot girl walking you should honk your horn to let her know you're intrested and afraid to talk to girls.
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@Alex_N_Chains: Truthful Tuesday: The last time I had sex, I was so excited afterward I fired my musket skyward, alerting the Confederates to our presence.
@AnOrangeSNES: [Restaurant] Waiter: Compliments of the chef. *He opens silver platter and post-it notes with the words 'You're beautiful' pour out*
@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: What are Nazis? Me: Bad people who we killed a long, long time ago 5: Why were they bad? Me: They kept correcting our grammar