@mrtruthandsoul: If you see a porcupine in your yard, that's my cat and we're not done with our accupuncture session.
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@MrT1M: Most computer problems stem from the lack of a fatherboard. No? Ok, I'll show myself out.
@_davidlucas_: Daddy! Tell me a story.. The Tooth Fairy is really a wicked witch, who takes all your teeth if you sleep with your mouth open. Good night.
@hipstermermaid: 1886: We invented a car! 1903: We invented a plane! 1969: We went to the moon! ... ... ... ... ... ... 2015: Taco Emoji!