@trevso_electric: If you see a woman holding Fifty Shades of Grey, smile and say "congratulations on your first book!"
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@AristotlesNZ: Me: Are these your kids? Boss: "Yep" They're gorgeous! "Thanks" Step kids? "Nope" Adopted? "No.." .. ".." She's cheating on you.. "Get out"
@AngelaEhh: My body keeps doing these muscle twitches like it wants me to get off this couch and move around. HAHAHAHA. As if.
@WineMummy: The scene from The Exorcist where she's tied to the bed cursing like a sailor, but it's me when getting a Brazilian.
@respected_loner: i hate when the news guys say "our nation's capital". stop jerking us around and tell us what city it is