@trevso_electric: If you see a woman holding Fifty Shades of Grey, smile and say "congratulations on your first book!"
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@TrueTorontoGirl: Cop: Will I find any drugs in your car? Me: I don't know but if you do, I'm not sharing.
@rpbateman: Sometimes I tell myself that everything that I've been through in life is totally worth it. Then I laugh hysterically.
@rosssutherland: They didn't leave much room for new models when they called it the 'ULTRA-Sound'. "Mr Sutherland, I'll book you in for a Sonic-Boom"
@dubstep4dads: .@cocacola i tried to give a coke bottle to a polar bear. he did not accept. also he took my son. i need my son back