@trevso_electric: If you see a woman holding Fifty Shades of Grey, smile and say "congratulations on your first book!"
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@SilverKick: It's always good to know what's happening in astrology. When nothing seems to be going right, you can blame the stars.
@rdm_guy: Young people of today will never know the joy of having a cassette stuck in the car stereo & listening to the same 12 songs for 20 years.
@tylerschmall: Hi, fire department? My cat is in a tree. Television has taught me that this is your problem.
@daemonic3: Doctor told me I only have 6 months to live, maybe 12 if I get enough likes on Facebook.