@DebTLawrence: If you see me running down the road crying, it's because I hate running.
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@Adam14: I heard that sadomasochistic vegans like to get beet and artichoked. Some even like getting pead on. Don't turnip your nose at this.
@Sickayduh: [hospital] SON: I came as soon as I heard. What happened? DAD: The oying hit me SON: What's an oying? DAD: You are, kiddo *dies*
@nonsensetwit: My fear of spiders happened when I went to hit one with a newspaper, and it looked at me and did pushups saying "try again bro."