@MmeSurly: If you see someone crying, ask if it's because of their haircut.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SamuelHLowe: She invited me over for a romantic dinner and told me I was the dessert. I wanted ice cream.
@trojansauce: [getting a haircut] BARBER: anything else? ME: cut me BARBER: what? no ME: like sweeney todd BARBER: i'm no- ME:make me into a pie
@WhiskeySoured: Are these the Americans? No. Are these the Americans? No. Are these the Americans? No. - watching the Olympics with my wife
@Epygma: Im still waiting for a movie in which someone says "buy me some time" and the guy goes and buys him a clock