@MmeSurly: If you see someone crying, ask if it's because of their haircut.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@david8hughes: "I'm telling you, it's all or nothing," the exterminator explains to Noah, "I can't just leave 2 woodworm. It doesn't work like that."
@cryptomanran: A boy asked his bitcoin-investing dad for 1 bitcoin for his birthday. Dad: What? $15,554??? $14,354 is a lot of money! What do you need $16,782 for anyway?
@Tommytoughstuff: [Job interview] "Under "skills" you have odd compliments." "You look like you'd have soft bones. "Thank you?"