@robdelaney: If you see someone over the age of 9 wearing sweatpants, pull them aside & say "Friend, you're wearing sweatpants." They might not know.
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@StephenBCramer: The bible says you can't buy your way into heaven but there isn't a church in the country that won't encourage you to try.
@TinaraMinus10: DON'T YOU LIKE ME! I WANNA MARRY YOU! WHY AM I IN THE TRUNK! -and other things I hear from guys on first dates
@peachgrenade: A good friend is like a four leaf clover: sometimes you accidentally run them over with a lawnmower