@shariv67: If you see someone wearing camouflage, make sure to walk right into them so they know it's working.
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@WoodyLuvsCoffee: I think my nephew finally figured out that there's no chameleon in this cage & that his Xmas present is a cage.
@Prince_Smarming: A co-worker said to me, "Could you be any more annoying?" So the next day I wore tap shoes to work.
@DurtMcHurtt: When I die, I want my decaying carcass to be loaded into a giant slingshot and flung into a rich kids bouncy castle.
@causticbob: When the doctor told me I only had six months to live, I killed him violently with his own pencil. Worked a treat. Got me twenty years.