@robwhisman: if you see suicide squad be sure to stay after the credits. lots of people leave half empty containers of popcorn and you can just have them
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@murrman5: where did you get them pants? [wife goes to answer but stops then narrows her eyes] you're not going as me for halloween again are you?
@joe_binkley: My childhood has prepared me for a lot more bear-related pic-a-nic-basket thefts than I'm currently experiencing.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: Not sure video Instagram is a good idea. I've never looked at a picture of someone's dinner and thought, "If only I could hear this."
@virtualhippie: Being high in front of your parents is like trying to do your best impression of yourself.