@KayRants: If you send multiple one sentence texts, I will mail a raccoon to your face I'm not kidding.
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@LizHackett: I feel like I'm not getting the full experience of a gas station bathroom if I don't cut and dye my hair and change my identity.
@TheIronSherk: I can't believe how different life was before *googles* Al Gore invented the Internet
@Pee_And_Giggles: 18: You & I are getting fat bec. u cook so damn good! IT'S.ALL.YOUR.FAULT! I was insulted, complimented, then scolded in under 2.5 seconds.
@krisv_723: A haunted house, but instead of masked creatures it's filled with everyone's mother-in-laws.