@Bob_Janke: If you spend "up to $9000" on my funeral it better be on some kind of mechanism that makes me sit up in the casket when people walk by.
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@david8hughes: There are poor, helpless kids in Africa who really need our help. But there's also kids with machine guns so I'm not going.
@solommb: My car has the innate super power of knowing when I have any extra money and spontaneously breaking down.
@TheBoydP: "I'm too important too attend the training on the new system. When I need to get in it you can walk me through it each time" ~Management