@AmishPornStar1: "LEEEEET'S GET READY TO TUUUUUUMBLE!!!" -wet laundry

@SumReecesPieces: "I need to talk to you." Has the power to make you remember every single bad thing you've ever done. Ever.

@WilliamAder: I remember when yoga was called Twister.

@Smug_Lemur: God only gives you what you can handle. Really? Because I'm pretty sure I could handle way more money.

@UncleDuke1969: “Wow, cell phones are getting ridiculously big.” “That’s a smart car.”