@wickedsuga: If you stand in front of a mirror & repeat your top tweet 3X, your pretwitter self appears, smacks you & throws your phone in the toilet.
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@sfjdotcom: The way I dealt with that unexpected cobweb to the face tells me I probably wouldn't have been much use in Vietnam.
@GuyThe_Guy: I made it halfway to Mexico before I realized that those sirens were just coming from the song on my radio.
@LeonEarlgrey: They say love is worth more than money. But I'm pretty sure my landlord is gona want more than a hug.