@GrantTanaka: if you stand up in a hospital waiting room & loudly announce your name & why you're there, sometimes another person will do it too
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@Gre_Gone: *horse walks into a bar* *horse walks into a bar* *horse walks into a bar* *horse walks into an optometrist* Horse: Holy shit please help me
@fro_vo: [beach] Me: if a shark stops moving it will die Wife: for the last time you can't kill a shark with a stop sign Me: it's the law diane
@NicCageMatch: My dog is starting a food blog where she writes about the delicious flavors of the various paper napkins she finds and eats.
@BastardProphet: "This isn't my first rodeo." He said, confidently. "Now help me get on this pointy cow."