@gwatts77: If you steal my identity and get a credit card I'll be impressed. Not because you stole my identity, but because you got approved. Kudos!
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@MichaelGoffLA: What if you told a lie to cover up your affair, and the lie was so good that 2000 years later people were still giving each other presents?
@duplicitron: When God made raccoons he was like do you want to be an old timey burglar or a trash digger. Too slow. You're both now.
@onelongbender: My internet boyfriend doesn't know about my real life boyfriend, which makes two of them.
@GonzoVice: There is a huge body of evidence to support the notion that me and the police were put on this earth to do extremely different things.