@XplodingUnicorn: If you still have a landline, I assume you also own a butter churn and ride a dinosaur to work.
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@robfee: I feel like Frosted Flakes gives kids an unreasonable expectation of how friendly tigers are when you try to feed them a bowl of cereal.
@doktorj: "Vintage designer purses are not a retirement plan," says my accountant while rubbing his temples.
@JayCee302: Me: Yeah man, got her right where I want her Bartender: Oh yeah? Me: Yup, sitting at home while the cable man works on th ::rushes home::
@noog: To the idiots who say ghosts aren't real, maybe you should watch this documentary called Ghostbusters.