@XplodingUnicorn: If you still have a landline, I assume you also own a butter churn and ride a dinosaur to work.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DeeLish_DG13: I sometimes feel like the Angel on my shoulder is on vacation & the Devil invited his cousin over for a play date
@Daniel_Sloss: Airport receptionist: anything to declare? Me: how bout these guns? *flexes* Her: OH GOD HE'S GOT GUNS! Me: wait.. I was.. Her: HELP!! AGH!
@StarWarsProblms: Anakin: How do we get in? Obi-Wan: We'll be stealthy. *turns on huge, glowing laser sword*
@dubstep4dads: i bet the first guy to say "smooth as a babies bottom" wasnt the most respected man in the community