@XplodingUnicorn: If you still have a landline, I assume you also own a butter churn and ride a dinosaur to work.
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@WildeThingy: Conveniently, the sound from their early Saturday morning lawn mowers covers the noise of my sniper rifle.
@TheMichaelRock: Coworker: What's your phone number? *looks up from phone* Me: I don't have a phone. *looks down at phone* Coworker....
@JihadPizza: Youtube is the only place where you'll find people arguing about religion in the comments of a snowboarding video.