@heyevergreen: if you take a selfie at a dad's funeral, his hand will rise up out of the casket and give you bunny ears
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@KKAlThani: I bet when Cheetahs race & one of them cheats, the other one goes like "Man, you're such a Cheetah!" & they laugh & eat a zebra or whatever.
@withanewname: "Welcome to D.A.D.D.D.S. Dads Against Dads Doing Dumb Shit. Repeat after me." [whole room] "AFTER ME" "Ok fellas, lets start here"
@seandunn76: Patients get nervous when I walk into surgery wearing my lucky cape but I didn't go to medical school so I need all the luck I can get.