@heyevergreen: if you take a selfie at a dad's funeral, his hand will rise up out of the casket and give you bunny ears
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@tastefactory: ME: Actually, her name is not Khaleesi. That's her Dothraki title. Her name is Daenerys Targaryen. GUY ON SUBWAY: I didn't say anything
@omgthatspunny: The store keeps calling me to come back and buy more bedroom furniture, but all I really wanted was one night stand.