@VerbsRProudest: If you tell me my life would be SO much easier if I'd organize everything, I swear I will stab you with a fork. As soon as I find my fork.
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@just1fool: "Please. Make yourself at home." *Brings cat and litter box inside* *Spreads cat poop on ground next to litter box*
@Busocco: I combined two hit games and made "Angry Words With Friends" where I just scream obsenities at people while throwing dead birds at them.
@SufficientCharm: GOD: Let's give her ALL the awesome. "But what if it's TOO much awesome?" GOD: Then we'll divide it evenly between multiple personalities.
@fro_vo: [job interview] interviewer: where do you see yourself in 5 years? me: that's a trick question there is no c in any of those words