@VerbsRProudest: If you tell me my life would be SO much easier if I'd organize everything, I swear I will stab you with a fork. As soon as I find my fork.
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@ShortSleeveSuit: Friend: Wanna go out with me for a beer? Me: I'll go out with you *finger guns* for free
@jonnysun: gettin prety good at makin baloon animals, so far i can make: - a snake - worm - eel - dog, hot - 2 snakes
@therealeatwood: JUDGE: I sentence you to 2 consecutive life sentences [60 yrs later: convict dies, is reincarnated] COP: This baby camel is under arrest
@WheelTod: I like to stand by the side of the motorway holding a sign that says "If you were me, you'd be here now."