@VerbsRProudest: If you tell me my life would be SO much easier if I'd organize everything, I swear I will stab you with a fork. As soon as I find my fork.
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@Chumpstring: genie: you have three wishes me: make firemen ugly genie: you got it me: instead of sliding down a pole make them climb out of a well genie: ok me: take the big ladder off their truck genie: dude what’s your problem
@joeljeffrey: My wife and did it twice yesterday and we didn't use any protection... I'm worried we might have twins.
@djdarrellripley: I am absolutely no good at dumping people. I couldn't even bring myself to switch drycleaners until my old one died...
@Chumpstring: [used car] ME: my credit's bad SALESMAN: k ME: i'm a criminal SALESMAN: no law against that ME: i'm on the run SALESMAN: then you need a car