@VerbsRProudest: If you tell me my life would be SO much easier if I'd organize everything, I swear I will stab you with a fork. As soon as I find my fork.
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@Brampersandon_: I was pretty nervous doing stand-up in front of a bunch of nudists but then I imagined the crowd in their underwear and it helped so much.
@Mr_Kapowski: I like to ask people what their sign is and then read them a completely different sign's horoscope just to hear them say "that's so me!"
@SteveSuckington: "I'm still a virgin" -theres plenty of fish in the sea "Ur right. I'll find someone" -no, I mean u should give up & be a lonely fisherman
@QwertyJones3: I just battle rapped my 4 year-old and rhymed "take a nap" with "piece of crap" so don't tell me about your parenting skills.