@xeyednpainless: If you tell me to "chillax," I will "chillstab" you and "chillaugh" while you bleed to "chilldeath."
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@bencoffeehall: I have learned to accept that my parents are "Santa," but I still have no idea how they get to all those other houses.
@NervousJr: The same woman who said "I'm your mom not your friend" has sent me 17 Facebook friend requests.
@Sickayduh: DAD: What happened to your car? SON: Transmission is shot. Reverse doesn't work. DAD: Well... SON: Don't- DAD: There's no going back now