@Contwixt: If you tell me your kid is 22 months and I buy it a beer, that's on you. That is your bad.
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@QwertyJones3: "Doctor, I'm afraid of people yelling letters of the alphabet at me." THERAPIST: Oh! You are? WHY???
@seandunn76: This total stranger wanted to have a spontaneous tickle fight on the street and...oh...nope, never mind I'm being robbed. Guys I'm being rob
@sarcasm_inc: "2015 AND PETSMART STILL DOESN'T HAVE FITTING ROOMS," I say somewhat loudly as Fluffy has to try on sweaters right there in the aisle.
@AimeeHelene1: *picks out all the marshmallows from your Lucky Charms* *replaces them with Flintstones vitamins* You looked a little sickly.