@radtoria: if you tell your guests your house was just broken into and fake cry they will clean it for free
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@JediGigi: I've been ill with night terrors, nausea, dizziness, hunger pains, cry fits, and a stutter. According to Web MD, I have a date tonight.
@TheAlexNevil: If you hear one of the high piano keys repeating slowly, you’re either watching a trailer for a horror movie, or you are a parent.
@ImaFlyontheWall: Watching police ticket people parked incorrectly that are in church right now and understanding that Jesus and karma have a sense of humor