@SunnySideUp1987: If you text me in all CAPS, I will assume we are meeting In the street to fight in the near future.
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@OfficeofSteve: Sometimes when I'm drunk, I put on a trench coat, lurk around the shadows and pretend I'm the host from Unsolved Mysteries
@mindintheshadow: I should probably eat this entire bag of Oreos tonight since they're going to expire in 2017.
@missrobotnik: The ladies in my knitting club think it's hilarious when I greet them by saying, "Sup, my knittas?!"