@SunnySideUp1987: If you text me in all CAPS, I will assume we are meeting In the street to fight in the near future.
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@davedittell: ZOMBIE MOM: Brains for dinner! TEEN ZOMBIE: Again?!? [slamming bedroom door] I wish I was alive!!
@KyleMcDowell86: [Friend] Kyle, u have to stop referring to your Ballet Club as a "gang" [Me & my gang all do 2 pirouettes and stop in unison] "Not a chance"
@Rollmaninoz: [at my funeral] *casket falls onto the floor* Mum: that's the quickest I've ever seen him move Dad: lol owned