@annaoverby: If you think buying condoms is awkward, try returning them.
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@meganamram: Show me on this doll where the bad man gave you a skewed perspective of a female body
@FatherWithTwins: *young woman walks by Wife: Wow, she looks really good, don't you think? Me: NO WAY, I'M NOT GOING TO FALL FOR THAT
@TheAlexNevil: First day of school and 8's teacher has already sent a note home with him: "You dropped your son off at the wrong school."
@jonnysun: [puts cone of shame on dog] ME: (to dog) sory buddy DOG: (to all other dogs in neighborhod) BOW DOWN TO LORD FLOFFYTON HEARER OF ALL BARKS