@bazecraze: If you think it's hilarious that George Bush is getting a library, wait till you hear he was our PRESIDENT for EIGHT YEARS.
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@goldengateblond: "We had unprotected sex. Give us a present." -- the subtext of every baby shower
@eddiepepitone: Signs that things aren't going well: 1) your gums bleed when u brush your hair. 2) u pray for the demise of the same 6 people every day.
@Mr_Kapowski: Coworker: Happy Thanksgiving Eve! Gobble til you wobble! Me: *mutters* How bout you slobble on my knobble CW: What was that? Me: You too
@ScorpionDong: Hangs a sign on front door that says "Robbery in progress - Please do not disturb" to deter burglars