@SincerelyMen: If you think meeting your girlfriends parents is hard just remember? Someone is going to try to date Eminems daughter
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@neiltyson: Dracula & other undead people who sleep in coffins must have good abs. They always rise up flat-backed when the casket opens.
@davidkenny100: I live on the edge Her: cool It's scary Her: So sexy I almost fell once Her: Oh! You actually live.. My home insurance is so expensive
@XAIMMadellynne: I was having a good day until my imaginary friend stole my coloring book & crayons & he demands $100 for their return. What a stressful day!
@sammontgomery: Cashier at McDonalds said "See you later" a little too smugly at breakfast. I did not appreciate her condescension and told her so at lunch.