@ExecDad1: If you think men aren't good listeners then whisper "C'mere, I'm naked" and I will hear you eight states away.
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@EvilPandaX: Anyone realize Dora is always lost every episode? Why is their no Amber alert for her? Is it because she's Mexican?
@chimneyspotter: What idiot called it "CSI: France - Murder in a Bakery" instead of "Baguette and Tag It"
@daemonic3: My family can't decide what kind of Lab to get (Chocolate, Yellow, Black, etc.) so we drew straws. I won, so we're getting a Meth.
@VerifiedDrunk: Finally nailed my girlfriend and her twin last night You know how I tell them apart? Her brother has a mustache.