@TheHarmonster: If you think your life is awful my mom keeps track of my "cycle" and just told me that I'm ovulating and that I should mingle more.
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@TheMichaelRock: 8yo: can you tell me a story? Me: sure. Your mom and I get ice cream after you go to bed every night. 8yo: WHAT?! Me: goodnight, buddy.
@PaperWash: HAHA! Answer your phone silly. I called you like 18 times. -I say as I climb through your window
@UNTRESOR: [gets on Facebook] [types "you pushed me away but expected me to stay"] [everyone nods, this is considered extremely good shit on there]
@WheelTod: Better to have loved & lost than to have never loved at all; but if going spelunking was your idea, you should at least *try* to find her.