@MikeDrucker: If you told Alexander Hamilton that the online lottery to see his rap musical was unavailable due to server overload, he'd be like, "WITCH!"
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@ItsMrWoody2U: Me: bless me father for I have sinned. Priest: how long since your last confession my son? Me: about 45 minutes ago...
@LuckoftheDraw86: In a room full of idiots screaming their opinions at the top of their lungs, be the guy in the corner doing finger guns with his reflection.
@girlontapas: That awkward moment when he asks you if you're mad and you assure him that you're very happy and he says... "No, I meant, you seem crazy."