@MikeDrucker: If you told Alexander Hamilton that the online lottery to see his rap musical was unavailable due to server overload, he'd be like, "WITCH!"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ObviouslyJustMe: Jesus said to Peter, "Come forth and I will give you eternal glory." Peter came fifth and won a toaster.
@nigelgodwin: I always have a suicide note in my shower so that i wont look stupid if i ever slip and crack my head
@Shock_Monster: Hush little baby, Don't say a word. Daddy's gonna buy you a bunch of crap so he doesn't have to hear your incessant whining ya spoiled brat.
@josePhDhoran: "Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor"- John joyfully sings as he walks off with the 'Caution: wet floor' sign