@timdonakowski: If you vote for yourself, does something blue appear like when you pee in a pool?
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@daemonic3: What is the deal with airplane food? Seriously, I'm trying to feed this thing and I don't know what airplanes eat.
@weinerdog4life: Literally thousands of chameleons in your house right now and you don't even know it.
@Parkerlawyer: It's 10:25pm and one of my kids just came downstairs and asked what's for dinner. I guess I need to start doing head counts from now on.
@WilliamRodgers: They say all good things must come to an end... After 7 wonderful years of marriage... I walked in on my wife... Watching Twilight..