@heatherjs: If you walk around in knight's armor long enough, people will just get used to it.
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@thats_a_morey: What's that movie about the girl who forgets Adam Sandler every day? I want to know her secret
@OBiiieeee: [trying not to think about Sonic The Hedgehog during sex] Her: faster! faster! Me: oh god no
@KalvinMacleod: Day 3 of weight loss challenge: all my coworkers look like tacos. I do not understand how the meat remains in the shell as they walk around.
@amydillon: When you have kids, "sleeping in" is just lying in bed trying to figure out what that crash was.