@agathagotstoned: If you walk into a room that's empty except for a clown doll sitting in a chair at a tiny table, you're probably about to be murdered.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@heymonroe: *notices girl singing song that's on in coffee shop* Me: You're a Cher fan too!? Her: Hold on *takes off bluetooth* Her: What? *dies alone*
@TheTalkingPipe: My way or the highway. It takes two to tango. What I'm saying is, "welcome to idiom club". Now, let's cut to the chase.
@danagould: I was having a political fight with someone on Twitter while my dog was out back barking at the wind. Then we switched.
@jujuhounds: Girl: Saying hot is disrespectful. You should say 'beautiful' instead. Me: Ok. Me: Can you please pass the beautiful sauce?