@agathagotstoned: If you walk into a room that's empty except for a clown doll sitting in a chair at a tiny table, you're probably about to be murdered.
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@Arbitral: Parents who are afraid that giving teenagers condoms will just ensure they have sex to use them have obviously never owned a bread maker.
@Mr_Kapowski: *hears a loud noise outside of bedroom door at night* *wife reaches over* "Honey- WHERE ARE YOU?" *already locked myself in the bathroom*
@ElKnuckelhombre: Damn, i got hit with the "we need to talk" from my wife. Thank God it was just about divorce. I was scared shitless it was an intervention.