@OhNoSheTwitnt: "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my Sven." -Kristoff
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@dshack8: 50% of fatherhood is repeating yourself. Other 50% is untangling your kid from the shirt stuck on their head cause you didn't unbutton it.
@jenlaw_11: "You are what you eat" I whisper to myself as I pour my dead dog's ashes into my cat's food bowl
@000___000: "daddy why did the moon turn red?" "because god is flooding it with the blood of all the children who ask too many questions sweetie"
@jonnysun: "evreytime god closes a door, he opens a window" - me, tryimg to convince my clients their house isnt haunted