@OhNoSheTwitnt: "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my Sven." -Kristoff
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@MomOnFire: Congrats on your beautiful newborn, one day you will look under her bed and know why you have ants.
@DanielRCarrillo: "I'm a green onion and I'm here to say, I can be enjoyed most every day." -A rapscallion
@YourFavMexi_Can: "I hope she got fat, I hope she got fat" - me looking up an ex girlfriend on Facebook.
@murrman5: excuse me, waitress? "I'm not a waitress" Oh, what are you then "Well, I'm a..*turns to other burger king employee* what the hell are we?"