@omgthatspunny: If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
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@RunwayDan: You won't believe this, kids, but TV used to end. Every day. They played the national anthem, and then it just...stopped. Scary, huh?
@saucy_peaches: Why are you so pissed? You asked me what turns me on and all I said was you not talking...
@cepheusjackson: ME: *brings my mom to a knife fight* MOM: *shouting* use your words! MOM: *chasing knife fighters away with a broom* I know your mothers!